Do you find yourself stressing over whether your ivory chair covers won’t quite match up to your off-white table cloths? Have you found yourself getting teary and stressed with your partner because they haven’t committed to the table plan as fully as you have? It could be possible you’ve come over a tiny bit bridezilla. It’s tough to be calm about one of the biggest days of your life, but we’ve come up with nine ways to help you breathe and avoid the dreaded bridezilla syndrome.
Think – Does it Really Matter?
It’s good to get some perspective. Is it really as much of an issue as you think it is – the table cloth and chair covers being slightly different shades of white doesn’t really matter. Where as a bridesmaid who isn’t pulling her weight is a bit more of an issue.
Think back to weddings you’ve been to in the past – can you remember the specific thing that is bothering you at someone else’s big day? It’s likely you wouldn’t notice variations in the color scheme or the wrong shape of cake as a guest.
Take Deep Breaths
If a supplier isn’t being as flexible as you like or the venue has strict rules in place which affect your vision of the day, pause and take deep breaths. It is frustrating but some things can’t be changed so you will have to take a step back and explore new options, whether that’s tweaking your décor ideas or looking at alternative suppliers.
Don’t Do Too Much Research
This might sound like an odd one, but if you’re spending all your spare time on Pinterest you could be focusing too much on the details. You can easily overwhelm yourself in a perfect Pinterest world where everything is so artfully rustic or perfectly vintage. A lot of the time you’re actually looking at expensive styled shoots which are almost impossible to recreate and will cause you stress. Pick something because you like it, and resist the urge to have 17 differently themed wedding boards on the go at once.
Don’t Be Scared to Delegate
Eek – if you’re a super organized control freak and you pride yourself on your ability to make things happen, this can be tough. But sometimes it helps to have help. There’s only so much you can do yourself, so don’t be afraid to lean on your partner, friends or family for help. It could be a fun girls’ night in for you and your bridesmaids if you arrange to get everyone together to do some wedding DIY. It will help you and your friends will enjoy being involved.
Involve Your Partner
This goes hand in hand with the point above. Don’t think about the wedding as ‘my day’. Think about it as ‘our day’. The whole reason you are having a wedding is to celebrate your relationship and subsequent marriage with your partner, so don’t shoulder all the decisions on your own and then feel resentful they’re not as involved as you’d like. Even if involving them only results in them saying ‘I don’t mind, you choose’, at least you sort of have an opinion from them…
Have a Sense of Humor
It can be so frustrating when things don’t go as planned, but learn to smile about it. Whenever something goes wrong, try to see it as a funny future anecdote – it will be amusing someday. And if you feel like everyone you’ve ever met is suddenly cropping up to give you unsolicited wedding advice, practice your best smile and nod, or be a bit mischievous and have funny answers prepared, whether it’s people moaning about the menu choices, the distance to travel or whatever else they want to pick on.
If you’re finding the planning stressful or overwhelming, treat yourself. It’s a hard job to balance your day to day life and relationships and plan a huge party that lasts most of the day for around one hundred people. Most people feel a bit anxious throwing a dinner party, so it’s only natural to feel stressed sometimes. Organize a spa day with your maid of honor, or have a DVD day with your partner to unwind.
Take a Wedding Time Out
Make a rule, such as ‘at mealtimes we don’t talk about the wedding’ or have a night once a week where you have dinner together – even if it’s just fajitas at home – and you ban all wedding talk. It can become consuming and you need to remember there’s more to your relationship than your wedding.